A First

I'm beginning to think that maybe my kids are as bad at the grocery store as I portray them to me. If you know me, I can be a little dramatic. But maybe this isn't drama. Perhaps my kids really are THAT bad.

It was over a month ago when I was at the store and as I was looking at the prices of cereal I turn around to find Nolan ripping into a Toy Story fruit snack box and one bag hanging from his mouth. After that experience I was sure I was never going to the grocery store with him alone unless I definitely had to.

I guess time heals all wounds. And so tonight I decided I would make a quick trip to the store to pick up some treats for some family that was going out of town. The boys were being pretty well so I started going up and down the aisles. I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THEN.

At the milk aisle Kyle is suddenly on top of the plastic car attached to the cart instead of inside of it. As I'm telling him to get off and how it isn't safe a middle-aged man is laughing at me, turns around and says, "He doesn't listen very well, does he?"

Nope, apparently not, thank you.

Then we go down the dairy and lunch meat aisle. Kyle is freaking out over a lunchable he wanted. I walk closer to him to see the price when I hear the sound of eggs cracking on the ground. Oh hello Bear and your hand full of eggs. Comment number two from a lady, "I've SO been there before." That was so nice of her. It made me smile. My "quick" stop turned into a long stop as we waited for help to get it cleaned up.

As I check out I feel like I have just worked out. It's late. We're going to eat frozen pizza for dinner. Tim even beat us home.

Now, this is when it gets good. Bear now has a habit of putting groceries in the cart as well. I noticed a package of hot dogs and a frozen milkshake at the store that I put back before we checked out. When we got home I was surprised to see breaded chicken patties in my bags as I was unloading. But this caught me even more by surprise:

 This was my first (and last) time bringing Vodka home. Was this a subtle apology from Nolan for the trauma he caused at the store? Did the middle-aged man slip it in when I wasn't looking? I mean, judging from the picture, I did look pretty bad at the store.

And as Tim and I are dying laughing I realized what had happened. A lady tried to buy a bag of groceries before me but for some reason it didn't work out. The cashier pushed the bagged groceries aside. The new bagger went ahead and put that bag in my cart. I came home with chicken patties, top ramen, baby oil, some denture thing, chardonnay, and the bottle of vodka.

I called the grocery store. I'll be returning the items, "at my convenience."

Obviously they don't know that it's never convenient for me to go to the store.

If only it was a bottle of Martinelli's.